Week 8, post 3 - Active Listening

One component I enjoyed from this chapter is the section on active listening. This is a concept I remember from Public Speaking, and theories such as these really caught my eye and got me interested in the field of communication. As we have learned from the section of the four phases of listening, listening is not so much as simply being present, and hearing a message. Instead the message must be interpreted and absorbed in an active, engaging manner. The book discusses the eight barriers to active listening, including noise, lack of interest, distracting delivery, faking attention, thought speed (thinking ahead), and listening for facts (a common one, especially in school). I find all these barriers very well thought out and true to real life. How many times have you been in class and found many of these to prevent yourself from truly interpreting the message?

Similarly, the four responses to active listening are interesting to me because as a prospective teacher and as someone who enjoys tutoring small groups and giving group presentations, I am learning to look for these responses to see how engaged my audience is. The four responses are paraphrasing (in school this can be seen as taking good notes), asking questions, using nonverbal communication (good eye contact, sitting up straight, nodding head), and expressing understanding (rephrasing the information, adding original thoughts).

Finally, the best parts about active listening is that you can measure how well you are understanding the message and how well you are listening by using these tools. Are you asking questions, able to paraphrase, using good nonverbal comm., and are you able to express understanding? If not, and if you find yourself hitting some of the barriers, you need to adjust in order to be a better part of the group.

Week 8, post 2 - selective attention

I find myself suffering from the downsides of selective attention a lot in school and in my outside reading. In school, I always do well in classes I am interested in, or that I find easy. For instance, I had a lot of US History courses that I got A’s in. This semester I have a nutrition course and so far I have an A+. But classes that do not interest me as much, and especially ones that I find more difficult, I find myself struggling in because I find it hard to pay attention. The classes are not necessarily harder, but for instance in my Western Civilization and Ancient History classes, I find myself completely lost and so my mind often wanders. This is similar when I do reading – whether it’s for school or not, if the material is interesting or the book is more interesting, I read it faster and absorb the content better.

To overcome selective attention I try to apply the concepts that I’m learning about to concepts that I find more interesting. Like in my ancient history class I try to find similarities between that era and the US history eras that I like more. I also try to eliminate noise and focus on the task at hand instead of thinking about other things. I try to focus on the class, or the book, that I need to focus on, and spend extra time on things that I would rather spend time on later. Essentially my thinking is, while I’m here I may as well submerse myself in the information being given.

Week 8, post 1 - Difficulty in listening

For me I find that listening is often most difficult for me because of the first phase of listening, or Sensing (Hearing the Message). The two components of this phase, selective attention and noise, often play the biggest roles in me having trouble listening. Since selective attention us the subject of our second post this week I’ll focus on the noise aspect. For me, noise often distracts me and causes me to “space out”. Internal and external noises both present themselves. In one of my history classes in DMH I sit by the window and get distracted by a lot of external noise. People walking down the street, people jogging/running around campus, cars, sirens. Some of these I voluntarily look at while others (like sirens) I cannot avoid. Luckily they do not distract me too much, and since the class is relatively easy and not necessarily interesting to me, they provide a nice little escape. In other more interesting classes in that building though I have sat more inside the room and away from the window to purposely limit the external noise which may distract me. Internal noise plays a factor as well. Often times I think about what I need to do later, or what my week is going to look like, or what I want to do this weekend.

While both types of noise can be distracting from interpreting the message, it is important to know how to silence these noises, or what kinds of external noises set you off. Similarly, you have to be very careful not to focus on the noise and instead focus on the sender and the message.

Week 7 - Humor

One topic that I enjoyed reading about that we did not discuss was humor. I agree wholeheartedly that humor is an important aspect of group communication. Being able to laugh at yourselves or at a joke someone within the group makes helps relieve tension and stress in the group process. It can bring group members together, and create a shared bond over something that the whole group can relate to (laughter, feeling good) even if it is a serious issue the group is dealing with.

All that being said, humor is definitely a fine art. If you've ever been in a group with someone and all they want to do is laugh and joke around, you find that you don't get very much accomplished. In fact, it gets to the point where they're annoying. Instead, humor must be used sparingly, and at the right time - not during serious discussion, or when there is a positive amount of work being accomplished. Instead it is best to break the ice in the beginning, or to break a bit of a dry spell or lull the group may be experiencing.

I know at my work, the best times are when it is very slow or people are stressed and someone cracks a good joke or tells a funny story. However, it's not funny when people are super super busy and trying to do things and running around busily, and someone tries to be funny, it ends up being annoying.

Week 7 - Proxemics and Chronemics

I found the theories of proxemics and chronemics to be interesting. In short, proxemics is associated with proximity, or space, while chronemics is associated with time. In American culture, I think our personal space is something we guard dearly, and punctuation is important in most things, whether its work or school or due dates. I think in other cultures, space especially is different. I know that I have worked with a lot of people who seem to invade my personal space, and they do it as if it brings me closer to them on a mental level as well, like if they are telling me something personal or happy with something I did, they want to get really close to me, especially my face. I think the idea of "one on one" is important in other cultures as indicated by this. On the graph of tables, I find this interesting because I work in a restaurant and you can tell a lot about people by how they sit at the table. When you have a couple, closer, happier couples like to sit kitty-corner, as in the "cooperative (conversation)" graphic. When couples sit across from each other they seem a little less talkative and less serious. A teacher once told me that when you go on a date you need to sit across from them to look them in the eye.. This seems a little contradictory to what we are learning, but it makes sense since on a date you probably want to challenge the person mentally.

As for time, the book made the best example of people in power being a little less adhering to a set schedule. My mom's boss seems like he is always on vacation, or coming in whenever he feels like it. My mom is high up too and I know she can take off whenever she needs to and go in late if she feels like it. She doesn't need to keep track of sick days and such like lower level employees. Must be nice!

Week 7 - Eight Principles...

#2 - The second principle states that your nonverbal actions must match those of your verbal actions. It's not enough to say that you are dedicated, but you must show it. Some was they might operate in a group or team is that if you say you will take care of something and then you slack and never deliver. If you are on a baseball team, and you tell the team that you are dedicated and want to be a part of the team, but then you show up to practice late, or hungover, or you bring scouts to look at you and focus on yourself instead of the team, you are not very dedicated to the team but instead you are just focused on yourself or your social life.

#7 - The seventh principle states that woman and men send and interpret nonverbal cues differently. This I believe is 100% true. I know a lot of times when I go out with a group of guys, they always think girls are "checking them out" just because they get a look or a smile. Yet, when they go over to the girl, they get rejected and the girl is confused at how the guy could possibly think she is interested! This is another reason why diversity is important, especially in a professional situation - you want to have both male & female interpretations and viewpoints of nonverbal cues, and you want to be able to have someone another person can discuss cues with, for instance, have at least 2 women and 2 men so that its not 2 on 1.

Week 6 - Discussion 2 - Observer Feedback Guidelines

The book details a 10-step guideline for observers to follow while giving feedback to a group. Generally speaking, these guidelines include:
Avoid generalizations and give specific, clear, and concise feedback. Compliment the group members publicly but criticize in private. This will eliminate anyone trying to defend their actions, or others jumping on the bandwagon and criticizing. That is not what feedback is for. Similarly, you always want to focus on the positives more than the negatives.

Next, you want to focus on behaviors that can be changed while not micromanaging every single thing. Don’t say that you don’t like a certain member, or you think a member has bias because of outside factors or something. Instead focus on matters that can change, such as how much time is spent on one task, or if everyone in the group is given equal chance to speak. Similarly, do not criticize every little thing – Remember that you want the group to become successful by itself; you are not the new group leader.

Finally, remember that you are an observer. You are not a member of the group, you are not the leader, you are not the taskmaster or the note taker. You are there to provide constructive criticism for the group to improve how they act as a group, not improve the subject of their work.

Week 6 - Discussion 1 - Consultants

It is important to use an observer or outside consultant in small groups in order to measure how well the group works together. As the book states, it is very hard to both observer and participate, and therefore it is important to use an outside source. This outside source can provide notes on how well the each participant performs his or her task, but also evaluate the levels on which the group excels or lacks as far as participating as a single entity and not just individual opinions or ideas. Similarly, feedback from an outside observer can offer valuable information on the group’s performance of specific tasks, whether its taking minutes, letting everyone speak, diversity within the group, key roles such as task-masters, leaders, and secretaries, and of course whether or not the group is staying focused on the end-goal or if they’re getting off-topic and not really getting much accomplished. Specific feedback from the observer or consultant is also important, so that the group can actually use the feedback in order to evolve how the group operates.